LDS Gen Z and Millennial Dating Trends: What Today’s Singles Are Really Struggling With

120 interviews. Real stories. And one truth: You are not alone.

If dating feels confusing, exhausting, or like something you're somehow doing "wrong," this post is for you. Based on Julie Balkman's interviews with 120 LDS and culturally LDS young adults (mostly Gen Z and Millennials), this blog explores the real reasons dating feels harder than ever. Spoiler: There's nothing wrong with you. Dating has changed. And understanding that is the first step toward more clarity, connection, and confidence.

Why Dating Is More Complicated for Gen Z and Millennials

Today’s young adult daters have access to more information than any generation before them—but that access comes with a price. With countless contradictory messages, pressure from family and culture, and a desire to do it right, it's no wonder so many LDS singles feel paralyzed.

You're not picky. You're discerning. You're not slow. You're thoughtful. And if you feel like you're carrying the weight of your entire future with every first date? You're not alone.

This is the modern dating landscape: high expectations, information overload, and fear of making the wrong choice. You're navigating a culture caught between tradition and progress—and trying to build something real in the middle of it.

Insights from 120 LDS Young Adults: The Highs & Lows

Julie interviewed 120 LDS and post-LDS young adults across the U.S. about their dating experiences. Here's what she found:

HIGHS:

• High emotional awareness and desire for deeper connection

• Strong observational skills of peer relationships

• Hope for organic (non-app) dating experiences

• Openness to personal growth in marriage

• Clear recognition of overwhelm caused by too many choices

• Experience in education, travel, and social trends

• Close family ties (sometimes too close)

• A shared sense of confusion about how to move toward exclusivity

• Desire for both physical attraction and emotional connection

• Deep fear of being unworthy, broken, or not enough

LOWS:

• Low self-confidence and dating investment

• Limited time, energy, and motivation

• Lack of practical dating education or experience

• Uncertainty around how to open up emotionally

• Difficulty naming or pursuing what they truly want

• Minimal interest in dating apps as a means to real connection

• Reluctance to "go public" with dating relationships

Sound familiar?

Common LDS Dating Struggles

The dating advice young LDS adults receive often comes with high stakes and heavy pressure. When eternal marriage is the goal, every interaction can feel like it carries the weight of forever.

From Julie's interviews, several themes emerged:

• "Not feeling like I’m enough."

• "I don’t have enough experience."

• "My sexuality makes me feel unworthy."

• "I’m scared to mess this up."

These aren’t just personal insecurities. They're cultural echoes that many LDS Millennials and Gen Zs have internalized—often without realizing it.

💡 Want more context on how cultural pressure impacts dating goals? Read this post on what keeps LDS young adults from marriage.

Why So Many Feel Behind or "Immature"

Many LDS Gen Z and Millennial daters were encouraged to delay romantic experiences:

• No dating until 16

• Group-only socialization

• Strict boundaries around exclusivity and sexual expression

• 18–24 months of missionary service (no dating allowed)

Then suddenly—post-mission or post-college—they're told it's time to find a spouse. But many have never even been in a committed relationship.

It’s no surprise that some feel inexperienced, stuck, or overwhelmed. The truth? You're not behind. You're navigating a system that hasn’t prepared you for this phase well.

A Desire for Clarity, Confidence, and Real Connection

The biggest takeaway from Julie's interviews? LDS young adults want real love rooted in self-awareness and emotional safety. But they need tools and support to get there.

They need:

• A safe space to process fears and shame

• New frameworks for dating beyond performance or perfection

• Confidence in making decisions (not just hoping for a miracle)

• A way to date that aligns with both their values and desires

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You’ll:

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What I Asked in the 120 Interviews

Here are the questions Julie used to gather real insights from LDS and culturally LDS Gen Z and Millennial daters:

1. What are your biggest challenges when it comes to dating?

2. What do you want when it comes to dating?

3. How do you find people to date?

4. How do you feel about first dates?

5. How do you feel about dating apps and social media?

6. What did you learn from your parents about dating and relationships?

7. How do you feel about break-ups?

8. How will you know when you have found the person you want to marry?

9. Do you have preferences, requirements, and/or deal breakers?

10. Do you know of a couple (2 people you could name), and you think to self, "I want that." If so, what do you see? Name 3 things.

11. Do you want equal partnership? If so, what does it look like, and when does it begin?

These questions opened the door to patterns of fear, desire, confusion, and growth that shaped every insight in this blog.

This Is What My Coaching Is For

If you see yourself in this post—the fears, the hopes, the deep desire to do it differently—you’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure it all out on your own.

I offer compassionate, practical dating coaching that blends cultural fluency with emotional clarity. A discovery call is the first step toward more confident dating and real relationship-building.

👉🏻 Book a discovery call to:

• Talk through your dating patterns and pain points

• Get honest insight (without shame or fluff)

• Begin building the kind of relationship you actually want

You are not broken. You are not alone. And this can get better.

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