How to Develop Healthy Sexuality as an LDS Single
When it comes to dating, do you want to stay sexually pure and turn on your sex appeal?
Why it’s important for dating Christians to embrace their sexuality, even if they’re not having sex:
It’s important…
-If you are in a relationship, but you feel it is not progressing.
-If you are consistently being friend zoned.
-If you are worried about someone violating your moral standards.
-If you want to turn on your sex appeal and stay sexually pure, but you don’t know how.
-If you need to get or give consent, but don’t know the words.
-If you feel shame or guilt for not sticking with established purity standards.
-If you have kept yourself sexually shut down and innocent to maintain purity standards.
-If you want to feel sexy/confident and you want to date someone who is sexy/confident.
-If you desire to have sex and sexy feelings now or in the near future.
What does sexy mean to a Christian dater?
What does “sexy” mean to you? Define it.
Apply this word to yourself and then to another.
It is common to attach sexy expectations to physical appearance when thinking of one’s self. But, when thinking of another, sexy has a broader scope. Confidence, sense of humor, personality, passion and interests, a nice smile, physical touch, sincere compliments, personal brand/style, IQ, etc.
The Truth About Sexual Chemistry
You might think that igniting sexual chemistry is getting another person to think you are sexy, but first YOU need to think you are sexy.
1. Find ways to value and appreciate your body, your mind, your soul, and your quirks.
2. Take responsibility for your health, peace, confidence, and strength.
3. Choose to see yourself as a sexual human. “I’m sexy!”
4. Try making sexy decisions. “What would a sexy person do?”
How to get out of the friend zone, while staying sexually pure:
Turning on your sex appeal is one way to get yourself out of the friend zone. When you see yourself as sexy and you’re not afraid to show it and own it, the friend zoning will decrease or disappear. Are you worried you will lose the friend? Clinging to a friendship that will never be anything more than “just friends” keeps you from finding the love life of your dreams. If you want to get out of the friend zone:
1. Believe you are sexy (see above).
2. Show your sexiness by allowing for honesty and mistakes.
3. Expose your quirks.
4. Let them see you make sexy choices without hesitation, explanation, or apologies.
One way to prevent sexual misconduct on a date:
Owning your own sexuality is the best way to prevent someone from violating your moral standards.
How to own your own sexuality:
1. Get to know yourself as a sexual being.
2. Grow yourself up with sex education.
3. Decide and practice communication when it comes to boundaries and consent.
4. Learn how to date safely.
5. Carry condoms. Know how to use a condom. Use a condom.
Consent Requires Clarity
Consent is owning your own sexuality with clear communication, or honoring another’s freedom to choose.
1. You decide what you will and will not do. Be clear with yourself first.
2. Then be clear with another. Use familiar dialogue. Practice saying it out loud.
3. If you don’t know, ask. Use familiar asking dialogue. Practice asking out loud.
4. Being clear with each other is not a mood killer. It’s sexy.
Sex appeal starts with how you see yourself:
When a client signs up for a life coaching package and they want support around dating, it is common to begin with self-discovery. Many clients want to uncover or recover their confidence, desire, and lovability. This includes self-acceptance. Turning on your sex appeal stems from acceptance of self.
1. Make a date with your mirror. Take a good, long look at the magnificent person you are!
2. Own, label, and name your sexual parts.
3. Express gratitude to each part.
4. Make a decision to turn on your sex appeal (self-acceptance).
5. Open up to the natural chemistry that exists between you and some people. Bring it up in conversation. Lean into it – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
6. Seek emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual help from qualified professionals, as needed.
Five Chaste Things to do if You Want to Level Up Your Sexuality:
1. Practice making requests: Ask and receive. Any request applies.
Not to be confused with demands or expectations.
2. Emancipate from your parents: financially, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.
3. Take responsibility for your happiness. Don’t rely on others to make you happy.
4. Have passions, hobbies, and/or interests.
5. Practice having good, clean fun. Enjoy your life!
