How to Communicate Better in Your Relationship
If you are struggling with a lack of communication in your relationship, it is likely due to one of three fears: fear of losing the relationship, hurting someone’s feelings, or being vulnerable. Read on to develop awareness surrounding these fears and how to overcome them, so you can communicate effectively with your significant other.
Holding Back to Hold On - Fear of Losing the Relationship
If not telling a person how you really feel is your way of holding a relationship together, you should know that it’s not a real relationship because there is no room for you. Don’t lie to yourself by thinking, “My feelings don’t matter.” Your feelings are part of you, and YOU matter.
What if you want to hold back and hold on because you would rather do that than be alone and/or start over? That’s your choice! Get really clear about the choice you are making. How does it affect you and the person you are with? Hold it up against the result you ultimately want and the person you want to be.
Trust and Kindness - Fear of Hurting Someone’s Feelings
I believe that most people are doing their best to not hurt others. However, in their saintly efforts to be kind, they’re actually not kind. Keeping someone in the dark to spare their feelings rarely goes well in the long run. Trust them to handle the truth.
What would you want? To be trusted or protected? To be treated like a service project or a capable, responsible human?
Being open and honest takes practice. Most of us are used to hiding (ghosting) and lying. I encourage you to start building solid relationships on trust. Trust others to be responsible for their own happiness. Embrace kindness in a whole new light. Honesty is kind.
Learn How to Communicate - Fear of Being Open and Honest (Vulnerable)
If you don’t know how to communicate honestly, then invest in your happiness and in your ability to connect with others by learning how. You can hire a professional, take a class, read a self-help book, and practice, practice, practice. The ability to communicate clearly and effectively is a skill that can be learned. Confidence comes with practice.
This is an investment of time/money/ego that will affect every relationship you have now and in the future. Communication is one of the most effective ways to change old patterns and habits that don’t work.
If you need help overcoming your fears and developing better communication in your relationship, book a consultation call and I’d be happy to help you out!
